Such a strange concept, but then again why not? I do know when I am stressed, spanking can help, when I am hormonal spanking can help, and when I am edgy spanking can help! So why wouldn’t spanking help when I am simply down? No reason. It did.
I suspect it is in the brain chemistry, which is less than static as I struggle through menopause. In Digits and Maryanne on Domestic Discipline there is an essay called Hormones Affecting Spanking. Digits gives a scientific explanation for how this works. I have no idea, with no medical/science background, if Digits’ theory is valid, but I do know that it works.
Usually, when I am past my spanking due date, have gone over the 4-5 day limit, I get edgy, and the attitude starts to creep in if I am not careful. If we have happened to forget that a spanking is due, we both realize soon. What is clear is that a spanking fixes what ails me. We have tracked it and learned that a spanking about 24 hours before my cycle begins really helps with the PMS…i.e. the hormones. I just I feel less frenetic and more settled…less “hormonal”!
So these past few weeks have just been difficult. As I have mentioned I am feeling pressured at work. Home is fine but busy, and then Grant and I have lots of extended family problems that are becoming more difficult. We both have elderly parents who both live 3000 miles away, and who are not only both in poor health but also difficult, needy and manipulative. As if teenagers weren’t enough, now we have the parents to deal with too! It has just gotten to me and I have been down. Not big time depressed but clearly not quite myself, either.
To make matters worse, somehow last week we missed maintenance. Kid and work things came up and 4 days turned to 5 and then 6. The typical edginess never appeared, but instead I was just blue. It started to feel like I hardly cared whether we went through our ritual spanking or not. I say ritual because the way we do maintenance is very routine and we go through the motions whether we need it or not, feel like it not, want it or not. We just do it because it is part of what defines and supports the DD marriage, the commitments, and reinforces the dynamic. I think a lot of times you are not so aware of that in the moment, but there has to be a decision to ‘just do it’ anyway.
So though I was un-enthused, we ‘just did it’. I told Grant how I was feeling, and of course, he knew it anyway. Apparently, he decided that a very rigorous spanking was the ticket to mental health. Most maintenance spankings he goes through our entire inventory. He might spank for an hour. This time he did all that and added in his new find, a bamboo back scratcher. I am thinking it was sort of like a cane? Solid bamboo, long, flat and it made an impressive whoosh when he was using it hard. Not wonderful, but as far as I am concerned not as bad as that awful olive wood spoon he is so partial to! He had me begging and close to tears towards the end. Tears are rare when I am not being punished. I felt it for two days too…not bruised but a bit sore.
But, here’s the thing…my spirits did lift. The problems did not change or the stress at work. Nothing changed but something indefinable inside. All in all, I would rather be sore than sad! In fact I would rather be sore than mad, aggravated, frustrated or unhappy. Weird, huh? Maybe that is what makes me a spanko, or maybe it is that we have discovered a new (old) route to mental health. I am just glad it works, and can’t wait for Friday! TGIF has taken on a new meaning here!